Now Is the Time to Take It Slowly

Each year about this time, I pick up the following three books:

• Celebrate the Wonder: A Family Christmas Treasury by Kristin M. Tucker and Rebecca Lowe Warren
• Unplug the Christmas Machine by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli
• The Christmas Survival Book by Alice Slaikeu Lawhead 

These are three volumes about preparing for the holidays—not the shopping/cooking/crafting experience, but getting the most out of the celebration. While Celebrate the Wonder includes crafts and recipes and "Custom Inspection" check-ins to inspire to you to perhaps adapt a new tradition, all three books address common themes:

1. People expect too much from Christmas, based on commercials, idealized films, and photo spreads in magazines.
2. A belief if you don't spend lots of money and buy "appropriate" gifts, you are not celebrating properly.
3. People expect troubles (family, financial, etc.) to go away at Christmas, and everything will be perfect.
4. Your Christmas must be perfect or it's not really Christmas.
5. Too many people are overscheduled at Christmas, whether it be for family visits, church events, or Christmas experiences (like The Nutcracker, cooking certain foods, etc.).
6. Women do all the work at Christmas and men feel left out; sometimes children also feel left out.

Celebrate the Wonder and Survival Book have a strong, but not overpowering Christian flavor that will be negligible to people who celebrate the more secular side of the holiday, but all three advise similar things: if a tradition does not make you happy, consider dropping it or revising it (visit relatives at a different time of year or don't bake so much or bake early); spread Christmas festivities over the entire Christmastide season (December 25 through Epiphany, January 6) rather than cramming it into one or two days;  ideas for gifts that are ecologically or ethnically thoughtful or nonstandard (gifts of time, family gifts, nontraditional gifts like a museum membership, park pass, etc.); the idea that you cannot change others, you can only change yourself or your perceptions; scheduling events so that you, your spouse, and any children are not overwhelmed; and toning down the influence of television and media on Christmas expectations.

The Survival book also has an occasional tongue-in-cheek look at holiday excesses, like chapter one's vision of an idealized holiday vs. Christmas reality, and some humorous drawings. Both this book and Unplug the Christmas Machine have exercises you can do to improve your celebrations. Celebrate the Wonder has beautiful pencil drawings opening each chapter and an idea for an activity for every day leading up to Christmas to inspire you to think up events of your own.

I believe all these books may be out of print, but you may want to find them at a reasonable price. While not necessary to have all of them, the trio provide a nice overview of getting the most out of Advent, Christmastide, and Epiphany, and will prompt you to do more reading and less rushing.